Why?

You know I sit here another lonely night here in my apartment, Madaya in bed and me sitting on the couch talking to him as if he was right next to me. God I miss him so much. My tears run dry and I keep thinking this is all I have done for so long... wait. All I did was wait. Im still waiting.
I want to hold him, kiss him, be with him.
Tell him I will never again not speak his language or take him for granite. I want to walk WITH him not infront of or behind him. I want to work WITH him to build the life we dreamed of. Big or small it doesnt matter cause the love is all that counts. Im sorry I lost track of that.

I know we cant fix the past. But we most certainly can build on the good and make a better future.

Why? Why cant we work on each other to be better together?

why.....