Nutty Jumbles

I found a recipe that I liked for " Nutty Jumbles " in the Kids Cookbook by Williams Sonoma. Although the recipe looked good, it wasn't satisfing to me so I simply changed and edited to my liking and needs. Heres what I came up with and OMG they are delish - I can't wait to share them on our trip!





April's version of " Nutty Jumbles "
2 Egg Whites
1/2 cup firmly packed brown sugar
1 teaspoon vanilla ( I like to add a little more )
pinch of salt
1 cup chopped almonds
1 cup chopped pecans
1 cup granola clusters ( I used Origin's brand honey oat clusters )

Mix the egg whites, brown sugar, vanilla and salt in small bowl until frothy. Add in almonds, pecans and the oat clusters and stir with spoon until well coated with the egg mixture.
Drop by spoonfull onto baking sheet and bake @ 350° for approx 15 min ( or untill deep golden brown ) Note: next time I will use something on the sheet so they dont stick!
Remove immediately to let cool - and you can store these at room temp in a sealed bag, or container for up to a week!

Enjoy!
We plan to take these on our trip -- I'll let you know how they worked as a snack!

Never seen these before!

I don't think I have seen tags that say Small and Medium in years... like since I was 3 or maybe even 5 years old :).
Seriously though it was time to get some clothes that fit ( I have been making my bigger ones work ) and in an attempt to " move into my new body " my phsyco suggested maybe I figure out what size I really am, and get something new. I found some great deals - ended up with a whole new wardrobe for a measly 40.00!!!

So you wanna know the sizes? I am still in shock!
Small and Medium tops mainly --- some L and XL in certain brands ( I think Ill call these stick figure brands i.e. Ambercrombie, Macy's label, and even some Calvin Cleins ).
And in pants.....
10's are loose.
8's are pretty darn comfy if you ask me!

Getting better...

At accepting what is.

Life is what it is, and along with that are all the decissions I have made, we have made or just the things that happen to us as humans.
I am learning to accept what is.

This past week I have felt emotionally better. I had my apt with my physco yesterday and even she was releived to see me a lil' more at peace.
I don't really know why other than this past week I litterally have done nothing. No schedule, no cleaning no anything - I think I needed to crash and its what I did. I'm feeling refreshed and focused now and looking forward to the things to come. I told Dr. Palmer I really wish I could feel like this for awhile - I like this feeling, I just need to find a happy medium, I need to accept what is.

Holy Mol(d)y!

We ripped up the kitchen floor today - because they are coming monday to install the new floor.

Well our intuitions were right. We found mold, and water damage under the washing area in the kitchen. No wonder the old tiles ( the lamanate crap like in schools and hospitals ) has cracks, stunk and were coming loose.

.... We let the office know and they are sending an inspector and the workers out to check it out before putting our new floor in.

I am so happy we decided to pull them up, the office wanted us to leave them down, and just have the contractor lay the new floor over the broken floor. Can you imagine?! Ewww...

I will update once its done!

My 10 affirmations, or something like it

Last week I blogged that Dr. Palmer wanted me to write out 10 self Affirmations

So here's what I turned in. I suggest that anyone who is having any self issues sits down and tries this excersize. It's not anywhere close to easy for me to do this, and I would think it wouldn't come that easily for anyone, esp those with self image or self worth issues.

How to : Slow down long enough to think about yourself. Now write down 10 things about your-self. 10 -self affirmations. Have fun

10 Affirmations about me - by me

1. I am STRONG
In all that I do, even if I feel it's too much or more than I could or would want to handle - I am strong. I am strong and always do well.

2. I am GIVING/LOVING

An ear to listen, a shoudler to cry on? A can of food, or the shirt of my back? A simple hug or I love you? I am good at all of these and more. I am giving and loving.

3. I am BEAUTIFUL

Sounds conceided, but its true. I do know this. Sometimes I stare at myself and think how lucky I am. When my eyes are green with happiness and my skin is well hydrated and I am feeling well - I beleive I glow. I beleive I am beautiful.

4. I am HONEST

I own my mistake, own up to my faults and never lie. In all my actions and words I am honest.

5. I am WORTH LOVING

I give all my love and deserve it right back. Anyform or Anyways I am worth loving.

6. I am a " GOOD " PERSON

I never try to intentionally hurt someone or something. I like to be unto others as I would like them to be to me. I am a " good " person.

7. I am " HAPPY"

I always try to find the good in situations, news or things. I am always " happy " with looking at it as " its a 1/2 full glass " it takes alot to truely upset me or my thinking. I am " Happy".

8. I am a GREAT MOTHER & WIFE

Along with the others hats I wear day in and day out I have 2 major accomplishments. My Husband and my Daughter. I always try to do my best for them and by them often times putting myself completely aside. I am a great mother and wife.

9.

10.

As you can see I haven't yet thought of #9 and #10. Its much harder than I thought it would be....

But it's a start!

Running from my problems?!

I seen my phsyco the other day...
she not so easily pointed out a good point. After I wiped the tears, got mad, then got over it I have come to realize shes right.
Im doing this to my self. I am only " running from my problems ".

I've been very open and honest about all I am going through and the toll its taking on my mind. Well this means I have been honest with myself too, for the most part anyways - and now I need to step it up and get on with this.
The end goal is simple. I dont want to have a break down. I want to learn how to handle things easier and make the best mental calls I can. Doesnt sound too hard but apparently it is.

Through therapy weekly I have been working through the issues, and had to even come to why the issues started. Yes they mainly have been triggered by my WLS, but really many were there much before that. I just put one more helping on my plate, and tried to cover the rest.
Lately I have been very Obsessive Compussive about things. I didn't realize this at first but when Dr. Palmer made me slow down and look at what I do and don't do in a day its become very clear.
I have been keeping myself busy too. This could be out and about, on the phone, out with people, for a walk anything and everything that keeps my mind busy ...

well guess what - CLICK ON CAME MY LIGHT.

Im keeping myself busy so I dont have to " think " about anything on my mind.
This state of business is whats leading to the OCD's, the flash backs, the insecurity and even the mess of thoughts that pop in my head for no reason.

Simply put I wasnt/havent been dealing with my problems.

I've been running from my problems....

This weeks goals :

1.) Keep working on Accepting the things I cannot change, or have control over.
2.) Work on beleiving that being " still " with myself is ok. I can have down time. I need not be OCD, and worked up all the time
3.) Keep blogging/Journaling through this process
4.) Keep a better food journal - I need to be mindful of what I am doing to my body!

Next Apt. is this coming friday at 11am.

Chicken Teri-Yummy

I decided to try to expand the veggie intake - and up the protein too.

So lastnight I made chicken teryaki ( spelling? ).

Ill call it chicken teri-yummy! it was delish and oh so good for me!

Family Activity : Home Made Scented Playdough

Tonight Mike, Madaya and I made playdough - thanks to my friend Tara's new blog and a cool new recipe I hadn't tried ( we have made tons of different doughs ) this one was for Kool-Aid scented dough.

You can view Tara's blog Happy Kidlets for many more fun ideas!

We followed Tara's blog posting but sence we only have die free kool aid - of course ours didn't come out colored. We made GRAPE flavored dough.. yummy

Scented Playdough

Ingredients:

1 cup flour

1/2 cup salt

1 cup water

2 tablespoons oil

2 tablespoons cream of tartar

2 tablespoons glitter (optional)

1 packet unsweetened drink mix (like Kool-Aid)

Directions

1. Mix flour, salt, cream of tartar, glitter, and oil.

2. Add water.

3. Whisk until well-blended.

4. Cook over medium heat stirring constantly until stiff and all sticks onto itself.

5. Turn out onto wax paper to to let cool.

6. Knead until proper consistency.

7. store in a sealed plastic baggie.

* I would choose a different kind of glitter or no glitter at all, although it was pretty - it was kind of messy.

After we made the dough we played with it for a while it was alot of fun. Even Shelby joined in. This dough really is fun for all ages and smells wonderful! Heres what we made :)

Daddy made a " momma "

Roo - loved the smell of it, didnt really shape anything

Momma made a snow woman

Shelby said Hi and made some hearts

Thanks Tara - for the sharing the idea we really enjoyed it!

Yummers! Chedder Garlic Biscuts

I am always looking for Roo-friendly foods that she will actually eat - well tonight it hit me that one of our favorites could be adapted to suit daya too!

I made these tonight with her white cheddar ( no dies ) and they came out better than the original - a feit I never thought possible. The biscuts came out a lovely golden color even though they are completely daya safe - no dies, no yellow cheese!

If you like Red Lobsters's cheddar bay biscuts ( you know the basket full you get when you go to eat?! ) then you will LOVE these too!





INGREDIENTS


2 cups biscuit baking mix
1 1/2 cup shredded Cheddar cheese - I used white cheddar, try using other kinds?
2/3 cup milk + 1/4 cup milk - I used skim to cut the fat
1/2 teaspoon garlic powder + 1/4 tsp ( if you like them with LOTS of garlic )
2 tablespoons margarine, melted
2 teaspoons dried parsley
1 teaspoon garlic salt

DIRECTIONS
Preheat oven to 400 degrees F (205 degrees C). Grease a cookie sheet, or line with parchment paper.
In a large bowl, combine baking mix, Cheddar cheese, and garlic powder. Stir in milk. Drop batter by heaping tablespoonfuls onto prepared cookie sheet.
Bake in preheated oven for 10 minutes. Brush biscuits with melted margarine, and sprinkle with parsley and garlic salt. Bake for 5 more minutes, or until lightly browned on the bottom.

On the flip side of the shutter...

We were at the wedding friday and since I am usually the photographer,

its rare im on " this side " of the lense.
Well here you go...
Selina ( in training :) ). Took a few shots of us. I promise to get some good family ones soon. I will continue to work on selina's SLR training and then I will try with me doing it via tripod and remote.
Enjoy these for now ;) You asked for them!

Shelby and Daya

The Evans family

Shelby and I

The usual... Mike and Apes

Um... I dont even know what to say about us?!

Wedding Bells

... for " Turtle and Odie ".
Sounds like a cute little comic strip huh?

But more than two " charactors " - " Turtle" is Mike's sister and " Odie " is our new brother in law!
These two nuts ( I use that lovingly ) finally said their " I-do's " this afternoon in beautiful farragaut state park.

I got the honor of taking photos of the wedding and even though lighting wasn't favourable I am pleased with the outcome. Mike was able to get the day off so he was with us as a family which is always a bonus in our life!

We had a beautiful day and a good celebration.

We wish them all the love in the world, and may the relish in the joy of one another for many many years to come!

Congradulations Turtle and Odie!
Heres just a sneek at some pics ( I havent worked on them yet ).

This weeks Therapy : 10 Affirmations

Today Dr. Palmer assigned homework. Actually its more "Apes self-work ".
She asked me how my week was --- for once my answer came without tears. I had an ok week. I havent been shy with the fact that I am battling alot mentally and some fear I am on the verge of a mental breakdown.

My therapy has been revolving around trying to prevent that and get me on the right track.

I had blogged before about the course I am taking, and how we hope that blogging ( because I love to express through words ) would help me to keep better track of myself, my thoughts and more so give me a place to go and reflect because I think things change so suddenly.

Back to my point.

What helped last week?

Why was I able to say it was an OK week, even though, again, we were faced with issues that were hard?
What can I do to keep the possitive going?
well, honestly blogging has helped. Some private, some here for many to see, but mostely just drafts for me to go back and read. What I learned this week is that all my thoughts and actions do seem to be normal its just abnormal to have them all on mind all the time, and all at once. Once I blog them out and get through them, go back and re-read them its amazing the clarity that it brings to me. I really enjoy it. When this week brought its new issues, I just grinned said " I cant control this, only my actions " - that helped and last but not least I can keep this good going by re affirming why and who I am.... funny how it all plays together.

Im still dealing with not wanting or being able to be " comfy in my own skin " we arent sure if this is because of everything else, or if I am keeping myself from it but were going to work on this. It's time. It is time I get over it and realize I did this to myself, this is the outcome and no matter what is or isnt going on around me this is ME. Dr. Palmer says I shouldnt be affraid to move into my new body, that I should be proud of it, and happy for it... but at this point I am not ok with any of it. I feel uncomfy, ugly, painful and even feel some remorse. Then I feel bad for feeling that way ( see told you I was mental ).

My assignment for this week : 10 self affirmations
Dr. Palmer wants these to be about me and me only and I am supossed to get at least 10. Looks like I have a long week ahead of me. Its really hard to be honest with myself, its really hard for me to be " ok with me " when most days I dont feel like I am .....

we will see what happens.


af⋅fir⋅ma⋅tion 
[af-er-mey-shuhn]

–noun 1. the act or an instance of affirming; state of being affirmed.
2. the assertion that something exists or is true.
3. something that is affirmed; a statement or proposition that is declared to be true.
4. confirmation or ratification of the truth or validity of a prior judgment, decision, etc.
5. Law. a solemn declaration accepted instead of a statement under oath.

God Moves

... Mountains, Earth and Every burden.


Today I met with the pastor at Real Life Ministries. This meeting was set up because a great friend of mine had told her leaders of us, and our current situation. I received a call Tuesday early morning from a lady named shawna who went on to introduce how she had heard of us, and what she wanted to do.
I had been asleep ( spent time in the ER the night before - and was pretty drugged ) so I didnt hear/ pay attention to much, other than who she was.
After calling again - it set in and made sense. This lady with a giving heart and her church wanted to help us " cool down ".
We set the meeting up for Thursday 9am, right after my therapy session ....

Pastor Brad is the family and children's pastor at valley Real Life and was so gracious to meet with me. He genuinely seemed interested in our story ( where weve been, what weve done, and what were trying to do ) and said he wanted to bless us by helping to get an airconditioner.
He gave us 125.00 from their benevolance fund to purchase an A/C unit and prayed for us.
His prayers was a simple, honest and well needed prayer. It asked for us to be comforted in this stressful time, and to be reminded of God in each new step, and day. Pastor Brad asked God to bless this money he had given on behalf of the church and that it would be times by 10 to better our financial freedom and meet our current family needs. He also prayed for Mike to have good news of deserved and stable employement....

All in Jesus' name... AMEN.

It was very moving, I have a hard time being humble, but think this could be the lesson. There's been so many times we have put ourselves out for others because thats what we do - but so hard to receive back.
They have no idea what this money means right now for the A/C. Our family will benefit greatly from it! For this I am so thankful and will be sure to thank God and the church often.

In God - Speed our day got better....

I was out running some errands in preperation for Friday's wedding and eventful day and Mike had called with the best news ever " My job is safe - someone took the voluntary layoff, and I will NOT BE LAYED OFF now! ". I couldn't say anything but THANK GOD!!!
With this news, I began to cry. What a weight lifted. Yes, it means many things and it seems so little but its SO BIG. We are blessed.

If there's one thing I know ( and always have ) its that God can move mountains, earth and every burden!
Now if we can just focus on this!

Zuchinni Please!

Who knew Zucchini could be so pleasing?

Despite the heat in the house, I have been keeping myself happy by baking. It gives me something to focus on, allows us to have healthy affordable snacks, and just lets me reflect on something other than the bad for a bit.

Since we had a big Zucchini that my SIL's neighbor sent home for us naturally Zucchini was the main ingredient for the most latest batches.

Here are 2 of my latest and quickly becoming fav's!! TRY THEM!

MOMS FAVORITE ZUCCHINI BREAD

INGREDIENTS (Nutrition)
3 cups all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon baking powder
3 teaspoons ground cinnamon
3 eggs
1 cup vegetable oil
2 1/4 cups white sugar
3 teaspoons vanilla extract
2 cups grated zucchini
1 cup chopped walnuts

DIRECTIONS
Grease and flour two 8 x 4 inch pans. Preheat oven to 325 degrees F (165 degrees C).
Sift flour, salt, baking powder, soda, and cinnamon together in a bowl.
Beat eggs, oil, vanilla, and sugar together in a large bowl. Add sifted ingredients to the creamed mixture, and beat well. Stir in zucchini and nuts until well combined. Pour batter into prepared pans.
Bake for 40 to 60 minutes, or until tester inserted in the center comes out clean. Cool in pan on rack for 20 minutes. Remove bread from pan, and completely cool.

ZUCCHINI CHOCOLATE ALMOND COOKIES

Ingredients:
3/4 c. butter, softened

1 1/2 c. sugar

1 egg

1 tsp. vanilla

1 1/2 c. zucchini

, grated

2 1/2 c. flour

2 tsp. baking powder

1 tsp. cinnamon

1/2 tsp. salt

1/2 c. almonds, chopped

1 (6 oz.) pkg. chocolate chips

Directions:

Cream butter and sugar. Beat in egg and vanilla; stir in zucchini. Stir in flour, baking powder, cinnamon and salt. Add almonds and chocolate chips. Drop by teaspoonful on cookie sheet. Bake at 350 degrees for 15 to 20 minutes. Makes 4 dozen.

ENJOY!

The heat is taking its toll...

This should say it all.

Last night I had mom take me into Deaconess ER to get a toradol injection and wound up needing 2 bags of water. They pushed the 2 bags of fluid in 1.5 hours ( Talk about pushing, and being dry ) on top of needing not just the toradol, they gave me something else for heat exaustion/headache. I feel better - but seriously, this heat in the house is taking its toll.
Im trying to stay cool, and stay hydrated.... and still trying to figure out how to afford an A/C unit as we go through this all.

Splish Splash Daya can now have a blast...

... In her own yard.

Grandpa brought her over a lil inflatable pool today. We set it up, and its been a hit.
The pool is small about 6" deep but you can hook it up to the hose, and the flowers spray. She loves it and its the perfect size for her :)

Fun in the sun... at the pool

Well another day in the sun for some fun...

Selina and I took the kiddo's to the pool again today. Its quickly becoming a favorite splish splash spot. Its cheap, its fun, and the kids love it!
Today we even had a break through - Toria swam underwater!!! Shelby showed her how!
Daya was a lil more comfy in the water today too!
Selina and I pretty much stayed dry, and worked on our tans ( or lack there of ).

Shelby .. thinking HUH?!

Selina, Myself and Daya too!

Swim Roo SWIM!

Check before you go in ...

The water is perfect Momma!

Seeeeeeee....