she not so easily pointed out a good point. After I wiped the tears, got mad, then got over it I have come to realize shes right.
Im doing this to my self. I am only " running from my problems ".
I've been very open and honest about all I am going through and the toll its taking on my mind. Well this means I have been honest with myself too, for the most part anyways - and now I need to step it up and get on with this.
The end goal is simple. I dont want to have a break down. I want to learn how to handle things easier and make the best mental calls I can. Doesnt sound too hard but apparently it is.
Through therapy weekly I have been working through the issues, and had to even come to why the issues started. Yes they mainly have been triggered by my WLS, but really many were there much before that. I just put one more helping on my plate, and tried to cover the rest.
Lately I have been very Obsessive Compussive about things. I didn't realize this at first but when Dr. Palmer made me slow down and look at what I do and don't do in a day its become very clear.
I have been keeping myself busy too. This could be out and about, on the phone, out with people, for a walk anything and everything that keeps my mind busy ...
well guess what - CLICK ON CAME MY LIGHT.
Im keeping myself busy so I dont have to " think " about anything on my mind.
This state of business is whats leading to the OCD's, the flash backs, the insecurity and even the mess of thoughts that pop in my head for no reason.
Simply put I wasnt/havent been dealing with my problems.
I've been running from my problems....
This weeks goals :
1.) Keep working on Accepting the things I cannot change, or have control over.
2.) Work on beleiving that being " still " with myself is ok. I can have down time. I need not be OCD, and worked up all the time
3.) Keep blogging/Journaling through this process
4.) Keep a better food journal - I need to be mindful of what I am doing to my body!
Next Apt. is this coming friday at 11am.
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