Yesterday Today and Tomorrow

Welcome once again to a re-done reorganized blog... big changes in store.

Origininally a few years ago I started this blog through a hard time, evolved it into a family blog, and now will reclaim this as primarily my blog.

It is truely my Yesterday, Today and Tomorrow.



The man I love, and was married to for close to 10 years has again decided to leave us. So with this please deal with me as we transition and find our wings.



Please keep any and all comments nice - as I do not have hard feelings at this time to him - only confusion, frustration and hurt.



Keep reading - this will be great therapy!!

Sunday, May 18, 2008

Didnt rain on my parade

Despite my thoughts of not taking madaya to the lilac parade yesterday, I did take her.
For those of you who are thinking " why would she not go " let me explain.
I love the parade, and the thrill it brings to children. I love that families gather to watch something so fun and new each year. I enjoyed being at the lilac parade with mike last year, our first one as a family since madaya was finally here in our lifes. So as that day went on all i could think about was how in the hell i would make it through yet another function that I so much want to be a family thing. As the day went on I thought more and more about how I would feel if someday madaya asked me why we missed one... Its going to be a tradition.
I thought I cannot tell her that just because mommy missed daddy so much and couldnt do it as a family that I cut it out for the both of us. That thought alone killed me.
Im going to have to adjust to not doing things as a family anyways - as we had/have lots planned this summer, so i got dressed, got her dressed and went downtown.
I am so happy we went it was a wonderful time!
I even learned that no matter how unhappy I am --- shes totally clueless as long as she sees me smile.
We both miss him and thats for sure - but we can be ok.

Heres some pics of the fun night!








Im so glad it didnt rain on my parade!

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