with faith hope and love...

Anything is possible?

Its been a very very hard week and a half. Full of lessons, reasons, vissions and fears. Its been all of this - but at the same time some good.

Ive learned alot about me. I, as much as i hate to admit it, have let others around me hide my true thoughts feelings and emotions sometimes. I have disrespected my husband, not by choice, but by not thinking of the consiquences, actions and feelings behind it all. I realized that I did indeed WANT my husband. Not need him WANT him. I love him.

Hes learned alot about him : Where and why his lonelyness plays into things, depression, anger, self doubt etc.

Together we have learned : we have a vicsious cycle amongst us, and if were gonna make this right - we need to make it from the start. We dont want to fix us, but grow on what we have good, and find new life in all else.


We have talked much, cried tons, and held each other close. I have said things that are pure, true and will be shown to be in good time. No more empty promises from either of us. No more disrespect, and No more influences.

Mike and I will try to work for our family.. but for now, remain seperated. I am ok with this, and looking forward to our new life. I know theres going to be bumps in the road. I know its going to be long. I know we have a lot A LOT to learn both individually and together but I also know that theres no one else in this world that i would rather do it with.

Madaya and I move next week.. 2 weeks at the latest. Mike is going back to the truck for now, but not for long ( his choice - i would love him to stay in town ) and then come stay at the house, and wherever he can while he transistions into local life. This will mean bankruptcy for us, as we try to repair this huge mess, and start things off new. We will see one another, learn with one another and im super excited to say that we will be seeking help together!

Help to learn to argue - sounds funny huh? but so true. No vicsiousness, and spite. No pasts to be thrown out for harm. Help to trust and to know that each other does have needs, that sometimes we may have to voice, but it doesnt mean its bad or that we love each other less.

We will be doing the " Love and Respect " series by dr. Emerson and Sarah Eggerichs via DVD its over 8 hours dealing with issues such as love, respect, honor, encouragment, divorce, marriage, crazy cycles.

You can check them out at www.loveandrespect.com.

Its going to be a long road... But the drive back is going to be soooo beautiful!