forward.. lets go

Lets just skip.... Forward


Ok so its sunday and im skipping over. We lost our interenet cause we didnt/couldnt pay the bill, so ive been with out - but i wanted to post my thoughts, feelings and worries of the past few days.

Its been hard, alot of ups, alot of downs and Im still left to figure out the peices. I want him so badly - always have, and nothing is going to change that feeling. I still feel butterflies when hes near, i still swoon when he kisses me... i still long for the day when he hugs me so close and whispers I love you. All things than happen happen for a reason and this is one of them I am sure, but its the reason i am trying to figure out.

I want him to know what he wants. I want him to know what and who he is leaving in the back as hes out searching for himself and what it is he wants. I want him to know that I support him and love him for him, and wanted to be here for this next chapter too.
I want him to have a goal, something to look too - like i thought we had. I thought he wanted family, love, respect. All of that is here.

I would love to know how fix everything - but i cannot. I would love to show him i want to do this for me, and in turn him. I want to act on my feelings that ive been keeping inside for so long. Keeping from the person i love the most. I hate that I have hurt him and he I. I hate that I cant snap a finger and make this right... but i have to let time play out. As hard as it is i have to give him the space - but all i wanna know is when hes coming home - when we can build our lifes and family back up. I want to want him forever.. and I want him to know this!

I want him to know what he wants! How can he not? How can I help?

How can I tell my HUSBAND I want us to be ok.