I was sitting here thinking about all the changes were all about to endure. And while i am so excited for them, a huge part of me doesnt want to change one thing inperticular. I miss my husband so much. I want him so much. And although I get why he thinks we should live apart, it kills me. Im respecting his wishes, and praying for the day he wants to move back home.
I know hes got alot to face, and change too for him to be happy - and I hope hes working on that. I am busy doing all I said I needed to do as well... its been hard. But one day at a time! The time we spent together the last view days he was here - was so wonderful. Just how i want it to be always. I love the feeling, of knowing hes near, and that I am there when needed too! It amazes me how strong he is. And i hope someday he will realize hes soooo much stronger than he realizes. Truely Amazes me.
Madaya and I move out of this house on the 10th for sure. Its gonna be different, Its gonna be hard but I think its gonna be worth it.
Im not giving up on my hopes, dreams, and wants.. and im going to keep fighting for him today, tomarrow and always. I want to see his dreams, hopes and wants too and look forward to those steps! The vows said till death do us part - not until seperation, depression, debt, fear or anything else does us part!
Im seriously anxious over some of this. Pitter patter and racing of my heart consumes me much of the day.
:)
Thursday, March 27, 2008
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