Monday : let it out

Ok the counsler says i need to keep writting despite all else i have to - HAVE to let it out. He sugested that maybe I keep a daily journal of sort, and my sister in law is making me one - hopefully it will be here soon. until then i can type much faster than i write, and with limited time on my hands I will do this.

This is after all MYspace right. For me to do what I will? Which includes blogging - which IS A JOURNAL.

Someone recently told me i was bashing my husband and it crushed me as i dont see how, but ok - to each their own. Maybe this person didnt realize that my blogs, and page are private to my FRIENDS which i know in person - or have known for many years. People who love us, people who care, wonder and worry.... FAMILY too. This person was on my list of people who could veiw my entire page. My previous blogs have been pretty plain and simple as to the pain, the greif the hell im going through along with mike. Its not helped that he is not here ... ( as in distance not just love ) If theres one thing i know for sure its that i will fight for what i beleive is right, even if it has to take a different path to get there... and that the only people to cosider in all of this is mike, myself and madaya. No opinions no words and noone can think feel or do this. Im doing it for me - my family. ( my family is 3 people not 21! ).

Monday :

_ I will be keeping a daily log of what I accomplish, and need to accomplish. As the hand written pages of things to do is about an inch thick.

_ I am giving us both the space we need.

_ I am applying at more companies - and welfare.

_ Contact the SCC student financial department for help with my course.

_ Madaya and I are going to look for a place to live.

_ I am going to go to the gym tonight - after madayas swim class

_ Mail 5 resumes ( this will be daily ).

_ Counsling session.