Just when I can see the sun

I had a good week. Ive been working extra hours, I went to my Divorce Care class at church, made it to church for service, cleaned the house, took great care of myself ( even gained 2lbs! ) and met some new momma's going through this hell too....

Then today I get up only to hear from Roo that " She misses her OLD daddy. She wants a daddy who loves us and is here all the time. ". While looking at me through her tear filled eyes shes looking for an answer and what can I tell her?!

Same thing... I miss YOUR daddy too! I wish things could be different and that he was here too. But Daddy is not, will not and can not be here Daya. Its ok to be upset. To which she replies....
" I love you momma! "

And the day goes on.

But seriously.... why?! Why does this ache so badly esp when it effects her?!
Shes so lost, so confused and I cannot always comfort her cause I feel the same way.
I refuse to let her think some things, I don't want her to be like him when she grows up. I don't want her to think running from yourself of others is ok, and that this is how you own your responsibility!
I want better for her and have to stay focused on the fact that the only way I can do so, is to show so!

But that doesn't mean it doesnt kill me! Oy!