Thyroid scares me.

2 weeks ago I got a call from my Endo that my thyroid levels were at a deadly level. Litterally. They call it " Thyro-toxicity ". Turn a long story shorter : She prescribed a beta blocker to protect my heart and get things sponged up and lowered my meds 75% will retest in 4-6 weeks.

What scares me ...

Well.
The fact that for the past 17 years we have been dealing with Thyroid issues only 3 times have we ever managed to get a handle on it and get the levels right. I have always had " a goiter " which is a large mass in my throught and I have been struggling with the weight gain from being " HYPO (low) thyroid " It appears since surgery however that I am now HYPER ( too high ) thyroid and that brings issues of its own in to play. This last scare was new to me and upon researching what it meant it has become clear that I MAY have a cancerous lump or a non-cancerus cyst on my thyroid. We will pursue more testing to be sure but even the endo is hard up for answers as to why with great care my thyroid is still all over the place.

There is something going on ( other than rapid weight loss ) that is preventing my system from getting the correct level of thyroid hormones. sometimes my natural thyroid seems to work and others not so much... scarey!

lets add this current issue and mind thought : Its virtually impossible to get pregnant and stay pregnant with a thyroid with killer cells ( most thyroid patients have killer cells if levels arent controlled ) and its apparently deadly if the levels become too high. Ie. heart attack, shock and even poor circulation can happen causing permanate damage. Damn it I just want to be normal. I don't have the ability to fight all this much longer. It's a dangerous game to play - adjusting meds all the time not to mention what it does to emotions, depression issues, anxiety, and even body. I am a mess. I want it figured out.


This next week they will be doing a Ultrasound and repeat tests on the thyroid to see where my levels are and IF there is something we will come up with a plan.
The other thought that is possibly since I am post RNY surgery it may be my system not absorbing the meds correctly.
I am now putting on weight - thank god - but that has to be watched because too much can be bad.

The thyroid controlls EVERYTHING!


Thyroid scares me!