Today Dr. Palmer assigned homework. Actually its more "Apes self-work ".
She asked me how my week was --- for once my answer came without tears. I had an ok week. I havent been shy with the fact that I am battling alot mentally and some fear I am on the verge of a mental breakdown.
She asked me how my week was --- for once my answer came without tears. I had an ok week. I havent been shy with the fact that I am battling alot mentally and some fear I am on the verge of a mental breakdown.
My therapy has been revolving around trying to prevent that and get me on the right track.
I had blogged before about the course I am taking, and how we hope that blogging ( because I love to express through words ) would help me to keep better track of myself, my thoughts and more so give me a place to go and reflect because I think things change so suddenly.
Back to my point.
What helped last week?
Why was I able to say it was an OK week, even though, again, we were faced with issues that were hard?
What can I do to keep the possitive going?
well, honestly blogging has helped. Some private, some here for many to see, but mostely just drafts for me to go back and read. What I learned this week is that all my thoughts and actions do seem to be normal its just abnormal to have them all on mind all the time, and all at once. Once I blog them out and get through them, go back and re-read them its amazing the clarity that it brings to me. I really enjoy it. When this week brought its new issues, I just grinned said " I cant control this, only my actions " - that helped and last but not least I can keep this good going by re affirming why and who I am.... funny how it all plays together.
Im still dealing with not wanting or being able to be " comfy in my own skin " we arent sure if this is because of everything else, or if I am keeping myself from it but were going to work on this. It's time. It is time I get over it and realize I did this to myself, this is the outcome and no matter what is or isnt going on around me this is ME. Dr. Palmer says I shouldnt be affraid to move into my new body, that I should be proud of it, and happy for it... but at this point I am not ok with any of it. I feel uncomfy, ugly, painful and even feel some remorse. Then I feel bad for feeling that way ( see told you I was mental ).
My assignment for this week : 10 self affirmations
Dr. Palmer wants these to be about me and me only and I am supossed to get at least 10. Looks like I have a long week ahead of me. Its really hard to be honest with myself, its really hard for me to be " ok with me " when most days I dont feel like I am .....
we will see what happens.
af⋅fir⋅ma⋅tion
[af-er-mey-shuhn]
–noun 1. the act or an instance of affirming; state of being affirmed.
2. the assertion that something exists or is true.
3. something that is affirmed; a statement or proposition that is declared to be true.
4. confirmation or ratification of the truth or validity of a prior judgment, decision, etc.
5. Law. a solemn declaration accepted instead of a statement under oath.
What can I do to keep the possitive going?
well, honestly blogging has helped. Some private, some here for many to see, but mostely just drafts for me to go back and read. What I learned this week is that all my thoughts and actions do seem to be normal its just abnormal to have them all on mind all the time, and all at once. Once I blog them out and get through them, go back and re-read them its amazing the clarity that it brings to me. I really enjoy it. When this week brought its new issues, I just grinned said " I cant control this, only my actions " - that helped and last but not least I can keep this good going by re affirming why and who I am.... funny how it all plays together.
Im still dealing with not wanting or being able to be " comfy in my own skin " we arent sure if this is because of everything else, or if I am keeping myself from it but were going to work on this. It's time. It is time I get over it and realize I did this to myself, this is the outcome and no matter what is or isnt going on around me this is ME. Dr. Palmer says I shouldnt be affraid to move into my new body, that I should be proud of it, and happy for it... but at this point I am not ok with any of it. I feel uncomfy, ugly, painful and even feel some remorse. Then I feel bad for feeling that way ( see told you I was mental ).
My assignment for this week : 10 self affirmations
Dr. Palmer wants these to be about me and me only and I am supossed to get at least 10. Looks like I have a long week ahead of me. Its really hard to be honest with myself, its really hard for me to be " ok with me " when most days I dont feel like I am .....
we will see what happens.
af⋅fir⋅ma⋅tion
[af-er-mey-shuhn]
–noun 1. the act or an instance of affirming; state of being affirmed.
2. the assertion that something exists or is true.
3. something that is affirmed; a statement or proposition that is declared to be true.
4. confirmation or ratification of the truth or validity of a prior judgment, decision, etc.
5. Law. a solemn declaration accepted instead of a statement under oath.
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